Reply to Talking about *The Bad* Kid in Class

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, here.  thanks for the advice.  Trying to instill empathy.  DC did come home saying that the aforementioned kid had been pretending to be sick because kid didn't want to go to school (in a way that DC is understanding that the kid is having a hard time).[/quote]

OP, new poster here. Please update us. It's been a while since the original post, so let us know here what happens and how the school resolves this.

Have you[i] talked [/i]directly to the teacher yet? I didn't see it in your various posts but might have missed it. The teacher will not ever talk about a child to someone who is not that child's parent or guardian, but if your child feels unsafe and distracted, you need to let the teacher know that clearly. Even if your child is somewhat exaggerating the kid's actual behaviors (as kids this age do), if your child sincerely [i]feels[/i] unsafe -- he feels unsafe, period, and the teacher needs to know that. And you noted early on that other parents have commented that their kids also have issues with this one child's disruptiveness. That means that something is going on beyond just some kids who are overreacting to another child's kindergarten adjustment troubles.

I have a much older child. I can tell you, OP, that "Just focus on yourself, just worry about you and not other people" works some of the time at this age, but not every time, and especially not always with the youngest students for whom everything is new and distracting. They don't yet know how to focus just on themselves; they are going to focus on this one child if he is getting all this attention, smashing things, screaming. Practicing role-play with them to teach "Remove yourself, walk away, say 'You cannot touch me'" IS useful, and you absolutely should teach that over and over, but be aware -- they are likely to forget that training in the heat of the moment when the kid is right there in their classroom screaming or smashing. That's why I would teach that lesson, and discourage any idea of "bad" in this kid, but at the same time as the parent I would tell the teacher immediately that my child was reporting distraction and disruption. And I would go back to the teacher, then beyond the teacher, if nothing changes.[/quote]

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