Reply to Talking about *The Bad* Kid in Class

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[quote=Anonymous]Other than smashing things, you are describing my kindergartener, who I am pulling out of her parochial school this week.

I have to say I am floored in a good way by all the responses requesting empathy.  Maybe it sounds silly, but thank you.

I also understand the OP's legitimate concern.  It's not fair/right that a class should be held hostage by one disruptive kid.

But here's my side of the story, for what it's worth.  My kid does not have a history of physical aggression, yelling, etc. beyond normal kid stuff.  My child can behave in a totally normal fashion outside of the classroom about 90% of the time.  All of our friends and family are surprised/shocked that the adjustment has been such a huge disaster.  Our family has been through an international move this summer and then my spouse's job changed and is requiring a lot of travel away from home so that's not helping.  We knew about the move, obviously, but it's still a big transition.

We thought we found a good kindergarten fit but almost from the beginning the teacher has pointed out every transgression.  Believe me, I completely GET that physical aggression is not all right, but she has made a point of telling me that another parent complained that my child called the other child "stupid." Again, not ok, but they are 5 and this was two weeks into the year.  Every day, I have a conversation with my child about listening to the teacher, using kind words, keeping hands to self.  There are consequences at home for any physical aggression.  At two weeks we were told that our child was behind peers academically and child could not do the schoolwork (even though they had the records from the previous school AND conducted an assessment prior to accepting us).  At our first parent/teacher meeting with the school the teacher mentioned that the other kids were trying to "help" my kid with child's work when child wasn't completing it correctly and that for some reason my child was upset by that. The teacher seemed totally oblivious to the fact that other kids helping was most likely them pointing out that my kid was doing it wrong.  No judgement - it's just the age, but apparently my kid is the "bad" kid because child doesn't like being picked on.  And child is getting picked on - when I ask, why did you say you would punch someone, the answer was, they were laughing at me, told me I talked like a baby.

My spouse and I both have mothers that were teachers for 35+ years.  There wasn't a lot of poor you when we were growing up and we don't really believe in poor you either.  But I do think my kid's teacher fixated on my kid and labeled them the "bad kid."

I am sorry to hijack your thread - I am not trying to downplay what your child is experiencing.  I just wanted to offer the perspective of a parent of the bad kid.  We are fortunate that we can pull our kid out of school and have childcare at home while we figure out what to do next.  [/quote]

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