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[quote=Anonymous]Our various opinions on how private one's bed is don't matter. The OP considers HER bed a private space, and her MIL does not. And according to the patterns demonstrated, the MIL does not generally respect boundaries.

When you deal with someone like this, accept that they're going to push boundaries and it's up to you to stand up to it. When you speak up, laying out a simple boundary rule, they're going to argue and downplay and try to make you feel like you're being overly sensitive or difficult.

Never explain. State it pleasantly, shrug and say that's how you feel, and case closed. It's not your problem if they don't like it. My husband is currently learning to put up boundaries with his zero-boundary family, and that's what he keeps saying, as it's a new concept to him. It's not your problem if they don't like your boundaries or how you do things. It's theirs to adjust to.

Take preventative measures to show very clear rules and boundaries. Shut your bedroom door all the way when MIL is visiting, and when she walks in, calmly tell her you need your bedroom to be your private space and that when your door is closed she shouldn't come or knock unless it's a life or death emergency. Do not back down. Usher her out.

People who don't respect boundaries are just sometimes clueless and not sensitive to social cues. Those people don't mean you any harm, in the sense that they're not trying to control you or invalidate you or have their way at your expense. They just have different boundaries, or can't read that yours are different. It's up to you to communicate what's comfortable for you.

On the other hand, there are those who try to manipulate, push, and control others this way. That's a more tricky situation. Listen to your gut.[/quote]

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