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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]On the first item, from her perspective, I'll bet she doesn't know how to get in the mood. Doesn't know what to tell you. Despite the premium so many people put on communication, talking about sex makes that mood even more elusive.

With respect to complacency, I don't know. Perhaps she doesn't -- despite all the conversations -- really appreciate the urgency. And that's the flip side -- while talking about it makes the mood more elusive, *not* talking about it makes complacency much more likely. [/quote]

It can be hard to just get in the mood.  It's not a switch that she can flip.  She might not really understand what gets her in the mood.  And I agree--talking it to death can make it even more difficult.  The pressure, the expectations can work to dampen any desire she might naturally feel.  I think that working on the amount of physical affection in your marriage is a good place to start.  You can get out of the habit of touching each other, and that can be fatal to your sex life.  Hello and goodbye and goodnight kisses, hugs, holding hands, casual touches throughout the day, massages, ...these things can help take the pressure off but also create an environment that allows both partners to feel loved and comfortable.  [/quote]

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