Reply to Baby is heading to daycare- how can I help my wife cope?

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Reply to "Baby is heading to daycare- how can I help my wife cope?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know this is not what you want to hear but here is my story.

When I was pregnant I got on waitlist of every single daycare within a 5 mile radius of my house. I knew what to do and made a plan.

When I had a baby, I learned what babies need, which is a lot of time and attention. They are new to the world and they need a person they can call on for every need every hour of the day.

Tons of studies say daycare is as good as nanny. Yes, that is true. But newborn up to about 1.5 years old is different. Many daycares don't take kids until 1.5 years old for this reason. After 1.5 years old, they benefit from being around other kids.

After I had my kid, I actually toured the daycares again and the places that I thought were fine were actually not fine. I could not leave my kid there. The state mandated ratio only allows caregivers to do triage-- change that diaper, change this diaper, feed that kid, feed this kid, move this kid from this bouncer to that because he/she is bored. They do not have time to hold your kid and enjoy every smile and give it love.

So I changed my mind and hired nanny. It was more expensive but it was worth it knowing in that precious year my kid has what he needed. He was not left somewhere where just the physical needs were being met, not emotional.

You sound like a caring dad. Seriously think about nanny if you can. If you cannot afford it, you can probably hire an old grandma with bad English at a low rate and set up a camera feed you can monitor from home. The baby will be at home, in the same environment. Love is the same, in any language. The baby needs to be held and loved.

When your baby is walking, you can send them to daycare. It'll be great.

[/quote]

Shut up.  Seriously.  My kids are no longer in the infant room, but ours has 4 caregivers for 6 babies.  When you consider how much babies sleep, that's basically one on one care.  They are CONSTANTLY holding and loving on the babies.  An old grandma with bad English?  You're a strange one.[/quote]

New Poster here. I was in the exact same boat. I toured daycares and could not imagine leaving my little baby there. We had a nanny until my son was 2 years old.[/quote]

Op this is the type of talk your wife needs to absolutely avoid.  With my first child I spent the first year of her life being sad about her being in daycare even though I loved her daycare. Now she is 5 years old and the happiest, smartest little kid anyone could ask for.  I realized I worried myself over nothing.

Everyone has opinions about how you should raise your child and ALWAYS will, keep that in mind.  Do what is best for your family.    [/quote]

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