Reply to 2nd wives: If DH came from low/no sex 1st marriage, how often do you feel you can turn him down?

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Reply to "2nd wives: If DH came from low/no sex 1st marriage, how often do you feel you can turn him down?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Friend is married to a guy whose first wife shut him down completely after their second child was born. She is having her own low libido issues due to an anti-depressant and feels like she can't turn him down except when she has her period. I think turning him down twice, even three times in a row in one week is not unreasonable.[/quote]

When I was on antidepressants, I made a baseline rule that I would give DH oral once a week and have intercourse with him once a week. It felt like a chore for me and I didn't enjoy it. After all those years of duty sex,  if he dies first, I  swear I will never have sex with another guy again. If I feel the need, I'll just use a vibrator. [/quote]

My DW has been on them for the past 15 or so years. For probably the past 10 or so, I can count on mynfingers the  number of times she has wanted to have sex  and  enjoyed it. We went for years of once per month and sometimes once in  3 months - awful. We went in recent years more often - weekly or even or more "accomodating my needs"  in alternative ways -- but  only b/c I think she realized I was  so angry and resentful it made our bickering even worse outside of the  bedroom.  While part of me appreciates the effort, I often feel just as bad after sex as without it.  I have a strong need, and her utter lack of interest is soul stealing -- and very different  from the woman I married -- And I believe part of  the problem is her own emotional ambivance about me -- if that is part of the cause of the depression it would explain why it never got better. Only a saint of a man can be patient forever - I'm afraid eventually after so much rejection the romantic love is dead except for fantasies of the woman I  thought she would be.    [/quote]

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