Reply to Husband of 25 years tells me he thinks he made a mistake by marrying me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you for your kind, honest and thoughtful responses.  He looked the OW up on Facebook in front of me. Her profile picture showed her seemingly happy with her husband of many decades. He broke down crying in front of me when he saw her photo. He said "he looks like a nice guy"

It's pretty shitty, you know? He's a workaholic and morbidly obese....and although I know he is faithful, I can't help but wonder if his food and weight issues as well as lack of interest in parenting and family life is really regret over marrying me.  We are culturally Catholic (although hes an Atheist these days)...he has a huge, unhealthy guilt complex. I got pregnant on our wedding night. And he's telling me now that he felt he made the wrong choice a week after the wedding.

I have a college degree in teaching\education. I went back to work a few years ago but quit after one year in the classroom because I hated it.  Hes so dependent on me for everything that I'm not sure he would function all that well on his own. Hes diabetic with COPD.

So really neither of us are in a position to leave but damn, I feel like I've wasted time. But I am still crazy in love with him.

[/quote]

Did he really have a "choice?"  You mention that the OW has been married for "many decades."  You all have been married for 2.5 decades...was she already long gone and off the market by the time you all were married?  Maybe he never got over losing her.  Of course, none of that - NONE of it - justifies this breakdown he's having in front of you.  You all are good candidates for couples and individual therapy.  He obviously has his issues that he needs to overcome and you both have to work on your marriage.

The fact that you can stay crazy in love with this morbidly obese, emotionally weak, exceptionally dependent person says a lot about your level of commitment.  Hang in there.  But, ultimately, do what you need to do for YOU.[/quote]

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