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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks, all- some of these posts have made me laugh and lifted my mood.  To clarify, it won't be an adults only dinner- my older kid (11) will go, too.  My little ones are pretty good in restaurants, but they are 3, so there's a limit to how much we can expect!  I'm going to look into a babysitter, but at this point leaning towards just staying home with them.  We head home early the next morning, so leaving them with a sitter might add complications I'm not up for dealing with.  My FIL is a really good guy, I think he's just a little burnt out on the kids (he's been helping a ton with them lately).  [/quote]

I understand why you would be hurt.  I also understand why your in-laws feel the way they do.  Frankly, my 3 yo twins are great a restaurants and we do take them out, but part of them being great is that my wife and I keep very, very busy watching them, interacting with them, and keeping them out of trouble.  I know that my parents and my MIL love the dickens out of them, but they don't have the stamina for all-out 2 weeks 7x24 double trouble 3 year olds.  Plus, since we all live pretty far away (my parents live in Florida and my MIL lives in the Pacific NW), they don't get to see us, their children, as often as they like.  When we visit with our in-laws, we both try very hard, to make time in the visit for the parents to get some one-on-one time with us.  So, when visiting my MIL, I'll take the kids out to lunch and the park or playground for several hours, letting my MIL and wife go out for a nice quiet, lunch somewhere that isn't child-friendly.  My wife will do something similar when we visit my parents.

I would suggest that to make things feel better, maybe the day before, suggest that you all go out for brunch (all kids included) at a family-friendly venue to celebrate Grandpa's birthday and have a cake and sing and blow out candles.  Talk to your husband and ask him to take the lead on supervising the kids giving you more of a chance to chat with your in-laws in adult conversation and to share in his birthday celebration.  Then the last night, be gracious and allow them to go out for a fancy dinner while you stay home.  You can either take the kids out to eat or your or your husband can go out and pick up some nice dinner for you and the kids to eat at home, play a little and get the kids to bed early enough that they will not be too tired for the travel back home day.

Good luck.[/quote]

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