Reply to Am I wrong?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Am I wrong?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, increase your life insurance.  And increase your general savings rate right now so that the money will be there when things get really bad.

I don't think you owe them much, in theory, but in practical terms it may be easier to help them out.  It's not worth losing your marriage or your kids' relationship with their grandparents, is it?  So I think you need to face facts that at some point, you will be paying.  Hold out as long as you can so that there will be money when they are older and truly unable to work.

What does your DH say when you bring this up with him?[/quote]
OP here - thank you for the practical advice.  [b]How would increasing my life insurance help?[/b]  (Not arguing - that is a sincere question.)  I have not brought this up because I am still too upset.  I am just being supportive of DH during his father's health crisis.  I think DH doesn't know how to ask me for money for them because I literally predicted all of this years ago. It took time to convince him that his parents were heading towards a bad end and he was very hostile to me on the topic before he finally came around and approached them with advice.  They refused to listen and scapegoated me as the money-hungry wife who didn't want them to have a good time so that DH could inherit their savings (even though I never said anything to them about their lifestyle).  Both DH and his parents have no leg to stand on if I say "told you so" and keep my money for my kids.  DH also knows how they have treated me unfairly at times.  Is this worth losing my marriage over?  I love DH so much, but I wonder if he is worth keeping if he would mortgage our kids' future for his parents.  This might be a matter of where loyalties lie.[/quote]

Because then if you died, DH would have enough to help his parents as well as help your kids.  Realistically, he will not say no to them if you are not there-- he will need them to help him with the kids, so he will be much less inclined to alienate them.  So definitely increase your life insurance a lot.

It is NOT worth losing your marriage over this.  Divorce and operating two households will cost you as much as your in-laws can consume.  And it's not worth it for your kids.  Having divorced parents sucks, a lot, long into adulthood and especially when they are elderly.  (Can you imagine if your in-laws were divorced and trying to pay for two homes?)  Knowing what I know about even an amicable divorce, I would happily have given up my college fund in exchange for an intact family.  Yes, it is about loyalties, but at least he wants to spend money on his parents, not on gambling or drugs or something.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics