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[quote=Anonymous]OP being polite and calm is great but also remember you have the right to be direct! Draw some lines, woman! When they start criticizing you say "please do not criticize my parenting. It is inappropriate." Repeat, repeat, repeat. Selfish, critical people respond to strength. They do not respond to the normal social rules you live by.

Remember you have the right to do what you think is right.

For the future I suggest you read "The Dance of Anger." The main point of the book is that by getting drawn in to the fight you are empowering th dynamic. Instead, you need to step out of it and decide for yourself what you will do, and not try to change the other person. It is not about winning the fight, but rather doing what you want to do.

So for instance, MIL proposes a plan that means skipping lunch until 3. You calmly inform her of your modification to get lunch on time, and follow through. No further discussion. If she actually engages with you to reach a compromise great! If not, you just calmly stick to your plan.

Example:
MIL - "let's go to the mall." (It is 11am.)
You - "sure. We will grab lunch there at 12."
MIL - "but mall food is unhealthy/let's have lunch here when we get back at 3/etc."
You - "we will get lunch at the mall at around noon." (No explaining or justifying!)
MIL - "why can't your kids learn to wait/just give them a snack/you need to feed them a better diet/etc" (she is escalating, trying to get what she wants)
You - "we will get lunch at noon." (Do not engage!)
MIL - "but blah blah criticism"
You - "see you in 20 minutes to go to the mall. We will have lunch at noon there." (Walk away)[/quote]

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