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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here : no, nobody in family knows. They are elderly. But for this secret detail they've lovely, I love them etc. I hate this in spades. It's true, it's like this knowledge and wake up I had coupled with my dd saying this (even if it was a throwaway comment) and I'm paralyzed and want to cut off the contact. [/quote]

Honestly OP, I just posted the long post above, and I forgot to say a key detail:  It is always also possible you have suppressed memories of actual abuse. I am NOT saying that in a definitive way, because that would be irresponsible since I'm not your therapist and you're a stranger on an anonymous message board.  But the strong reaction can often be indicative of suppressed memories, so it is that much more important that you get professional help.  Your strong reaction could be about a lot of things, but this is one of them.  I don't understand your resistance to seeking professional help, why would that be something you wouldn't do?[/quote]

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