Reply to Feeling sad I'll never have a daughter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom and I were super close and she died before my sons (now preschooler and toddler) were born.  I was SO upset when I found out I wasn't going to have a girl (we are done).  But now, I'm so grateful for my boys.  I see them developing an amazing brotherly bond and they have so much love for their mama - even now in preschool, the girls are bringing drama.

Adult men can be close with their mothers, too.  My DH is close with his mom.  Build a strong family unit and enjoy being a boy mom.  I came around :)[/quote]

My mother died, too, and though I didn't think I had a preference, I was definitely sad when I found out the baby I'm carrying is a boy. We are one and done, so I will never have a daughter. I cried when thinking about how I can't pass down my mother's jewelry. And that I'll never experience that special mother/daughter bond from the other side (my mom and I were very close). I just let myself be sad for awhile and now I am actually super psyched to be having a boy. I'm not sure what helped me turn the corner other than just letting myself "grieve" for a little bit. I do have nieces that I love very much and to whom I can pass their grandmother's things down, so that helps. My DH is close with his mom, too, and my mom's brothers are close to their mother. And I think actually that it might be psychologically healthier for me to have this boy, as I won't be putting pressure on a daughter in order to try and recreate my lost mother-daughter relationship in some way. [/quote]

I'm the pp and I totally agree.  My relationship with my mother was amazing but incredibly intense (in a good way) and I feel like it would have been an enormous amount of pressure had I had a girl.  There are simply no guarantees of relationship, regardless of gender.  I know you said you are one and done but just to mention - when I found out my second child was a boy, I was actually happy (if you had known me prior to having kids you'd never have believed this would be possible because I wanted a girl so badly).  I had fallen so in love with my older son that I realized how amazing it is to be a mom of a little boy.   Now I have two and I couldn't imagine, or be happier with, anything else.[/quote]

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