Reply to Carolyn Hax column: MIL doesn't understand why DIL is upset

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just tried for a minute to put myself in the DILs shoes and thought back to when my youngest was just born and the ILs lived several hours drive away, and DH did have a couple of business trips in those early weeks. I just tried to imagine my MIL showing up unexpected at my door, with my boob hanging out and covered in spit up and too exhausted to have a conversation with just about anyone, and I want to burst into tears at the mere idea of this.

It's harder to put myself in the MILs shoes, but if someone gives a reason they can't do something, whether it's "legit" in my mind or not, you just don't push the issue! Polite excuse or not, you respect a person's wishes in their own home![/quote]

During that newborn & infant stage, I would have killed for a weekend in yoga pants with naps, takeout food and Netflix, all by my lonesome.  If MIL had showed up for "girl time" I would have burst into tears, too.[/quote]

+2 My second is 10 months old so I understand too since we're not too far out from those days. With our first, we did host MIL and FIL two days (yes, days) after we came home from the hospital. They were a 9-hour car ride away at the time. It was pretty bad since we were in the thick of it with a baby who just would not nurse so I spent much of it hooked up pumping since I was trying to be nice and allow them to visit with DD so didn't want to take her away too much to try to get nursing to work. It was a tough visit. Lesson learned for our second this past summer when we set some boundaries and said they would have to wait at least a few weeks to visit (now live across the country from them because of work). If they had showed up for a surprise visit any earlier, I would have cried too!     [/quote]

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