Anonymous wrote:As a MIL multiple times, I can say this as fact, no matter what, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't so it's best to don't because the snotty rude bitches called DIL will hold a grudge.

It's best not to form ties with those she devils. Be polite and when they do ask for help just say no. I give my daughter and her kids all the attention now and mail the other kids a gift. I seriously bend over backwards for my daughter and have a very tight relationship with her kids. I make it happen. I tell my son in law I love him like he's my own. I treat him like a King, ALL for my daughter. I make their lives easy. As easy as possible.

I'll go so far as to say I love them more than the other ones. It didn't have to be this way but it is.

When the DIL's kids get older and seek me out, I will tell them why their mother was on medication and how rude she treated Grandma. I will also explain to each one in a letter why we didn't leave them anything when we passed and how their mother helped in that decision. My sons will see my daughter and her kids get the spoils we worked for. The boys can thank their wives for that. DILs ? You think you keep your husbands away but you are wrong. They call when you aren't around. And boy do your husbands bad mouth you. Mom will always be HIS best friend. HA HA.

Actions have consequences. So go ahead and laugh, go ahead and be nasty, go ahead and play alpha bitch. We MILs will have OUR day !

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a MIL multiple times, I can say this as fact, no matter what, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't so it's best to don't because the snotty rude bitches called DIL will hold a grudge.

It's best not to form ties with those she devils. Be polite and when they do ask for help just say no. I give my daughter and her kids all the attention now and mail the other kids a gift. I seriously bend over backwards for my daughter and have a very tight relationship with her kids. I make it happen. I tell my son in law I love him like he's my own. I treat him like a King, ALL for my daughter. I make their lives easy. As easy as possible.

I'll go so far as to say I love them more than the other ones. It didn't have to be this way but it is.

When the DIL's kids get older and seek me out, I will tell them why their mother was on medication and how rude she treated Grandma. I will also explain to each one in a letter why we didn't leave them anything when we passed and how their mother helped in that decision. My sons will see my daughter and her kids get the spoils we worked for. The boys can thank their wives for that. DILs ? You think you keep your husbands away but you are wrong. They call when you aren't around. And boy do your husbands bad mouth you. Mom will always be HIS best friend. HA HA.

Actions have consequences. So go ahead and laugh, go ahead and be nasty, go ahead and play alpha bitch. We MILs will have OUR day !

It's obvious from your post that you aren't very bright or well spoken...and I'll venture to say not very educated. I'm going to bet that your DILs are much more accomplished and you are terribly threatened by that. Do yourself a favor and invest in yourself...take classes in something that interests you. Devoting yourself to being a professional mother to your adult children is unnecessary, unwelcome and a little bit sad. There are ways to be a member of the family (mother, grandmother, MIL) without needing it to completely define who you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a MIL multiple times, I can say this as fact, no matter what, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't so it's best to don't because the snotty rude bitches called DIL will hold a grudge.

It's best not to form ties with those she devils. Be polite and when they do ask for help just say no. I give my daughter and her kids all the attention now and mail the other kids a gift. I seriously bend over backwards for my daughter and have a very tight relationship with her kids. I make it happen. I tell my son in law I love him like he's my own. I treat him like a King, ALL for my daughter. I make their lives easy. As easy as possible.

I'll go so far as to say I love them more than the other ones. It didn't have to be this way but it is.

When the DIL's kids get older and seek me out, I will tell them why their mother was on medication and how rude she treated Grandma. I will also explain to each one in a letter why we didn't leave them anything when we passed and how their mother helped in that decision. My sons will see my daughter and her kids get the spoils we worked for. The boys can thank their wives for that. DILs ? You think you keep your husbands away but you are wrong. They call when you aren't around. And boy do your husbands bad mouth you. Mom will always be HIS best friend. HA HA.

Actions have consequences. So go ahead and laugh, go ahead and be nasty, go ahead and play alpha bitch. We MILs will have OUR day !

It's obvious from your post that you aren't very bright or well spoken...and I'll venture to say not very educated. I'm going to bet that your DILs are much more accomplished and you are terribly threatened by that. Do yourself a favor and invest in yourself...take classes in something that interests you. Devoting yourself to being a professional mother to your adult children is unnecessary, unwelcome and a little bit sad. There are ways to be a member of the family (mother, grandmother, MIL) without needing it to completely define who you are.

Anonymous wrote:That letter brought back to many memories. My out-of-state inlaws visited far too often for the first year of my firstborn's life. I was too green as a person and as a mom to be able to vocalize that it was too much. I actually do love my in-laws, and I appreciated their need to spend time with the baby, but I just wasn't wise enough at the time to put into words that I needed space, that I needed less time with a full house, that I needed time to establish myself as a mom vs. as a daughter-in-law, daughter or hostess. I had my share of less than stellar behavior in response to the frequent visits and at least one blow-out fight with sweet MIL, who took me to task for not making the trip to visit THEM more. Looking back now it seems all too simple, but that's hindsight for you.

Anonymous wrote:I just tried for a minute to put myself in the DILs shoes and thought back to when my youngest was just born and the ILs lived several hours drive away, and DH did have a couple of business trips in those early weeks. I just tried to imagine my MIL showing up unexpected at my door, with my boob hanging out and covered in spit up and too exhausted to have a conversation with just about anyone, and I want to burst into tears at the mere idea of this.

It's harder to put myself in the MILs shoes, but if someone gives a reason they can't do something, whether it's "legit" in my mind or not, you just don't push the issue! Polite excuse or not, you respect a person's wishes in their own home!

Anonymous wrote:As a MIL multiple times, I can say this as fact, no matter what, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't so it's best to don't because the snotty rude bitches called DIL will hold a grudge.

It's best not to form ties with those she devils. Be polite and when they do ask for help just say no. I give my daughter and her kids all the attention now and mail the other kids a gift. I seriously bend over backwards for my daughter and have a very tight relationship with her kids. I make it happen. I tell my son in law I love him like he's my own. I treat him like a King, ALL for my daughter. I make their lives easy. As easy as possible.

I'll go so far as to say I love them more than the other ones. It didn't have to be this way but it is.

When the DIL's kids get older and seek me out, I will tell them why their mother was on medication and how rude she treated Grandma. I will also explain to each one in a letter why we didn't leave them anything when we passed and how their mother helped in that decision. My sons will see my daughter and her kids get the spoils we worked for. The boys can thank their wives for that. DILs ? You think you keep your husbands away but you are wrong. They call when you aren't around. And boy do your husbands bad mouth you. Mom will always be HIS best friend. HA HA.

Actions have consequences. So go ahead and laugh, go ahead and be nasty, go ahead and play alpha bitch. We MILs will have OUR day !

Anonymous wrote:The crazy thing is the MIL got what she wanted anyway and is complaining that DIL was distant and cold. Her behavior was tolerated and will probably continue.

Anonymous wrote:As a MIL multiple times, I can say this as fact, no matter what, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't so it's best to don't because the snotty rude bitches called DIL will hold a grudge.

It's best not to form ties with those she devils. Be polite and when they do ask for help just say no. I give my daughter and her kids all the attention now and mail the other kids a gift. I seriously bend over backwards for my daughter and have a very tight relationship with her kids. I make it happen. I tell my son in law I love him like he's my own. I treat him like a King, ALL for my daughter. I make their lives easy. As easy as possible.

I'll go so far as to say I love them more than the other ones. It didn't have to be this way but it is.

When the DIL's kids get older and seek me out, I will tell them why their mother was on medication and how rude she treated Grandma. I will also explain to each one in a letter why we didn't leave them anything when we passed and how their mother helped in that decision. My sons will see my daughter and her kids get the spoils we worked for. The boys can thank their wives for that. DILs ? You think you keep your husbands away but you are wrong. They call when you aren't around. And boy do your husbands bad mouth you. Mom will always be HIS best friend. HA HA.

Actions have consequences. So go ahead and laugh, go ahead and be nasty, go ahead and play alpha bitch. We MILs will have OUR day !

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just tried for a minute to put myself in the DILs shoes and thought back to when my youngest was just born and the ILs lived several hours drive away, and DH did have a couple of business trips in those early weeks. I just tried to imagine my MIL showing up unexpected at my door, with my boob hanging out and covered in spit up and too exhausted to have a conversation with just about anyone, and I want to burst into tears at the mere idea of this.

It's harder to put myself in the MILs shoes, but if someone gives a reason they can't do something, whether it's "legit" in my mind or not, you just don't push the issue! Polite excuse or not, you respect a person's wishes in their own home!

+1

During that newborn & infant stage, I would have killed for a weekend in yoga pants with naps, takeout food and Netflix, all by my lonesome. If MIL had showed up for "girl time" I would have burst into tears, too.

Anonymous wrote:I just tried for a minute to put myself in the DILs shoes and thought back to when my youngest was just born and the ILs lived several hours drive away, and DH did have a couple of business trips in those early weeks. I just tried to imagine my MIL showing up unexpected at my door, with my boob hanging out and covered in spit up and too exhausted to have a conversation with just about anyone, and I want to burst into tears at the mere idea of this.

It's harder to put myself in the MILs shoes, but if someone gives a reason they can't do something, whether it's "legit" in my mind or not, you just don't push the issue! Polite excuse or not, you respect a person's wishes in their own home!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a MIL multiple times, I can say this as fact, no matter what, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't so it's best to don't because the snotty rude bitches called DIL will hold a grudge.

It's best not to form ties with those she devils. Be polite and when they do ask for help just say no. I give my daughter and her kids all the attention now and mail the other kids a gift. I seriously bend over backwards for my daughter and have a very tight relationship with her kids. I make it happen. I tell my son in law I love him like he's my own. I treat him like a King, ALL for my daughter. I make their lives easy. As easy as possible.

I'll go so far as to say I love them more than the other ones. It didn't have to be this way but it is.

When the DIL's kids get older and seek me out, I will tell them why their mother was on medication and how rude she treated Grandma. I will also explain to each one in a letter why we didn't leave them anything when we passed and how their mother helped in that decision. My sons will see my daughter and her kids get the spoils we worked for. The boys can thank their wives for that. DILs ? You think you keep your husbands away but you are wrong. They call when you aren't around. And boy do your husbands bad mouth you. Mom will always be HIS best friend. HA HA.

Actions have consequences. So go ahead and laugh, go ahead and be nasty, go ahead and play alpha bitch. We MILs will have OUR day !

Fakety fake post.

Gotta agree.