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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I could also write a few paragraphs on my sex life and frustrations.  But sometimes I wonder if I'm over complicating things?  Perhaps your wife just isn't that into sex?  My husband makes a lot of excuses and tells me things I do wrong but deep down I think he simply isn't that sexual.  He doesn't understand my need and never will.  I feel lonely. [/quote]

Possibly. But I tend to think my wife has desire - it's just more responsive in nature. I need to figure out how make her respond.

Even with responsive desire, it's entirely likely that her appetite for sex is lower than mine, and you run into the question of what sorts of compromise are ideal/possible in these situations.  Do you set the frequency at whatever the lower desire spouse happens to want? Seems unfair, but it's pretty tough to tell someone they should have sex when they don't want to. Sounds awfully rapey.

Like I said, work in progress. My wife is a wonderful person, and in most other respects our relationship is pretty great. So I'm not ending the marriage or cheating over this issue. That leaves me with a lot of time to work on improving our sex life as much as it can be improved. [/quote]

As a woman it is frustrating because my husband dictates when we have sex.  I've learned I cannot come onto him or talk to him about wanting to have sex.  That only leads to a major fight.  My plan is to ignore our sex life going forward.  [/quote]

I was in your boat, but I ended up in an affair. Beware.[/quote]

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