Reply to Advice for a FTM who is the main breadwinner

Forum Index » Money and Finances

Reply to "Advice for a FTM who is the main breadwinner"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP, this is a tough one, but I strongly urge you to figure out a way to move with your DH together.  Pre-kids, I've done the LDM, and it's hard no matter what.  In my case, though, it was to pursue my dream (one I had long before meeting DH).  And we chose to stay apart while DH continued to look, because my entry-level dream job paid a lot less than DH's more senior private sector job ;)  It wasn't easy, but we made it work for a while.  We're now in the same place (I ended up having to compromise when I got pregnant and move back to where he was for reasons not worth getting into...let's just say it's very unique to my situation and not a cautionary tale worth sharing), and, honestly, life is much easier and better for us.  I don't regret the decision I made at the time, but it did impact our relationship.  And it obviously depends a lot on your kid and family dynamics, but I seriously would not have wanted to care for an infant alone.

It is risky to move without a job, but your DH's reasons just don't make sense.  Is his current job particularly awesome such that he doesn't want to leave it unless he has something equally fulfilling?  That's the only reason I could kind of see it, but even then it doesn't really make much sense with an infant to me.  Obviously everyone has lines, and some people are successfully able to raise small children from two different cities, but the reasoning you've described just seems off.  Is he also on board (truly) is leaving DC?  Because if he's not, that at least sounds like a more rational explanation for his reluctance to move with his wife and small child for what would almost certainly be a higher quality of life.

I'm not sure if you are the one who posted that his degree is political science, but would it help him to start looking into alternative careers that utilize this skill set?  Maybe state/local government?  I left a very coveted government position, and for a while I was really sad to leave that career...but I've resolved myself to my private sector job and getting very active in my local government...it's a very different set of policy challenges, but actually more interesting than I might have initially assumed.  There are multiple ways to cultivate interests.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics