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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love and respect my IL's and I get along with them just fine. BUT, I could never live with them as they would test my patience beyond the limits.

I believe one of the prime reasons people don't get along or like their IL's is they can't handle the differences and dynamics and feel the need to change them.[/quote]

I tend to think the the masses want it their way, if that is what you are saying.  I don't think any wife goes into a new family thinking they will all change for her; but I do think that ILs tend to believe that the new wife should "adapt" (not really) to them, as there are more of them.  Sort of a bully mentality, which is inevitably troublesome.

I do think that MILs are reasonably expected to behave older and wiser: including patience, warmth, welcomeness, assistance, support (in action, not words) and positive attitude.  DILs are not like the old days; they are now more their own person, with their own lives, and less apt to "go along just to get along".  People do not tend to marry local, or even regional these days. MILs need to support that, and allow margins for error, instead of thinking that MIL-hood is a dictatorship.  A real family just not a dictatorship, even if MILs marriage is or was.  Rigid MILs are not going to make any friends with a young, accomplished, educated, spunky DIL.

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