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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree, everyone has their sh*t.  But owning it is most of the battle.  My ILs sit around like they have all had lobotomies, and no one is supposed to air anything, except if you are a peripheral visitor; in which case, they will flat out ask you personal questions.  Ridiculous.

If my ILs owned their oppressive baggage, and knew how to laugh once in a while (note: not at others' expense - not that I should have to point that out), and be warm and inclusive......well, then I would know that I married into another family entirely.  My ILs are just painful to be around.  They are far too introspective, yet don't own their sh*t.  Explain that one.

No, I'll pass, thank you.   [/quote]

OMG - I could have WRITTEN THIS save for the introspection piece, I think they have no idea how dysfunctional they all are - including BIL.  The oppressive nature of the 18 elephants in the room none of us are allowed to acknowledge yet which literally drive every single discussion makes me need a xanax 100 miles away.  If we lived any closer I'd have blown up a long time ago.  Have any of you dealt with this successfully?  I'm a really "heart on my sleeve, honesty if the best policy" so it is particularly painful for me to nod and not explode.  Maybe I should start my own thread for advice.[/quote]

PP here.  You are not alone.  I am presuming that anyone with such baggage as my ILs must be introspective, so I stand corrected in that regard.  Could it be that anyone is so clueless as to not see their glaring issues?  They barely talk to each other, except the women are tight, unless you are a SIL (I'm the only one; BILs refuse to marry, no wonder). It is not me, as outsiders (see above) notice it immediately.  It is clannish and quite awful.  What would be the opposite of warm and fuzzy?

Not trying to derail OPs thread, so my apologies if I seem to be.  Just trying to elaborate on why some people do not get along with their ILs, in hopes that people who do might chime in and assist.  But I, too, am not sure - it may deserve its own thread.  [/quote]

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