Reply to not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Did your vows say, "Till death or fat do us part?"

Did you disclose your refusal to love and respect her if her body shape would change?

Have you ever actually observed, say, human beings to see how people typically age?  What percentage of people look as attractive after 30 years?  Why would you marry someone for life assuming they would look even remotely the same after decades?

[/quote]

No my vows did not say that. But loss of physical attraction causes a marriage to deteriorate over time, and the spouse who chooses to get fat needs to know their role in the situation. Intimacy slows down. Resentments build. You begin to notice that dreamy new person at work.

Aging is 100% unavoidable, but getting fat is 100% avoidable. Don't confuse the things about our appearance that cannot be controlled versus those that can.

It is quite reasonable to think that if you marry somebody who is thin and exercises regularly, this person would continue to want to remain thin and to exercise after 30 years. 
[/quote]

That's actually not reasonable.  People change, priorities change.  Typically, over 30 years, people have children and get involved in their communities and their priorities and focus widen from a preoccupation with self and appearance to a concern about others and the wider community.  That is typical, not being as interested in fitness and thinness in your 60's than you were in your 20's.  If you have stayed as self-focused that is interesting but it is far, fr from the norm.  As for fatness being 100% preventable, it is typically only preventable in women if a person has a unique metabolism or I'd they become MORE interested in maintaining thinness over time.  It has to be more of a focus not less, because the aging process in healthy women typically adds more adipose tissue.  This is self-protective and healthy, as the survival rate for illnesses late on life such as cancers is much higher for slightly overweight people.

I'm trying to be reasonable, though, and it's probably just a waste of time.  I sense that no argument would break you of your belief that fatness is a justification for OP's spouse's behavior since you think it is justification for breaking vows.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics