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[quote=Anonymous]My DH has ADHD, too - though not officially diagnosed, his primary care doc and psychiatrist said its probable. So I know it can be challenging. But after going through rough patch when DS was born, he has dug in an been a fully engaged partner in raising our kid. That means no checking out, or at least only checking out when we agree it is okay to check out, and I get to check out sometimes, too. And absolutely no checking out between 5 and 8pm - that is dinner, homework, family goofing off, and bed time. After 8pm he is free to go play Guitar Hero in the basement till midnight if he likes, and sometimes he does.

Your DH needs meds, to find out whether the ADHD is the reason he is checking out. My guess is it actually isn't, OP. There are things he must be able to do with the kids that they will all enjoy. Roll on the rug, play angry birds, read out loud, take a walk. Watching TV with him would be better than NOT having him around. And then when the kids are in bed, and his responsibilities are over, he can check out as much as he likes. The pot has much bigger side effects that the ADHD drugs. The side effect of pot now: he's not being a good father to his kids and a good partner to you. That's one hell of a side effect, and he needs to own it and try something else.[/quote]

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