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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's a little disheartening to see the OP being regarded as essentially a mule whose purpose is to make money. Too bad about your cancer OP. Don't spend too much making yourself happy, because the Ladies of DCUM have no pity. As if cancer doesn't suck enough, OP can't spend $3k on himself per year, and enjoy his relatively, modest, nerdy hobbies, even though he has a 1 million dollar policy and 750k in savings.

[/quote]

Nobody is doing that. It's money that's causing tension in the marriage. That's why its the focal point. He deserves technology but his wife also deserves security. [/quote]

If he dies, his wife gets
$1 million +
$750k +
$40k

That's not enough? I'm no mathematician, but that's enough to buy a near-six figure annuity. That's not enough? Do they live in Beverly Hills?

Why is there so much focus on his SAH wife when he is the one suffering, especially when they are quite well-off? Can you imagine a stay at home dad hassling his cancer-ridden wife, who works and makes all the money, over buying a MacBook every couple of years? I think most DCUMers would be outraged.

I feel that there is a double-standard at play here.[/quote]

According to the annuity calculator I found online, if you assume a reasonable rate of return and a 40-year annuity (let's assume OP's wife is in her 40s, and doesn't live past 80s, which is a risky assumption), it would provide her with annual income of about $85,000. In other words, if OP were to die, just a little more than half of their current income, which has to cover mortgage payments, college tuition, retirement and everything else. Yes, she could go back to work, and hopefully in a few years make a decent salary, but not necessarily at his level or enough to make up the shortfall. And don't forget, she would also have a child who just lost her father, and it probably wouldn't be in their child's best interest to immediately be sent off to a new care provider while mom jumps into a full time job right after losing him.

So, in short, OP, unless you live someplace with a substantially lower COL than the DC area, I suspect you aren't "fine," and your wife is right to be concerned about your finances. I think that sit-down with a financial planner would be a very good idea for both of you. Once you have some reasonable goals set for shoring up your finances, then set a budget that allows each of you a set amount of "fun money" for gadgets, hair coloring, etc. If she knows everyone's long-term financial needs are being met, she may ease up about the gadgets.[/quote]

OP here.  When looking at everything, there are a few factors ignored in the money:  Social Security....Age of child...and I never listed all assets, only liquid assets.  We have 300-400K equity on our house.  (we owe 250K, and the lot alone is worth 550-600K, with the house, a smidgen more).  Right now, until DD turns 18, DW would get about 3700/mo from Social Security.  After she reaches retirement age, she would get 24000/yr.  I assume she has to work, and would earn at least 30K....

On our expenses, she would be fine -- might have to cut a little bit.

Oh,  no child care expenses would be involved, as DD is 12.

Expectations are DW would move to a lower cost of living area once DD graduates HS.  [/quote]

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