Reply to feeling hurt about husband and mother-in-law's behavior

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[quote=Anonymous]You're getting a ton of good advice in this thread.  It may be too late to change arrangements for this weekend - I get that.  After so long of being emotionally manipulated it might not be possible to say, "they are not staying here this week and need to stay in a hotel."

I would recommend dropping the invitation issue entirely.  If you do manage to change arrangements this weekend you could look petty, as if it's payback.  You don't want to get into a petty payback contest with MIL.  Not worth it.

If your Inlaws are showing up in the next day or two, I think some of the confrontations things people are advising you to do would be difficult.

So I'd do one of two things: 
- simply brightly say to husband - you know, my parents always stay in a hotel while yours stay here.  This time, let's switch it up and my parent swill be staying here.  Do you want the number of the hotel so you can make reservations for inlaws?  NEVER bring up invitations.  If he balks, simply say THIS IS NON NEGOTIABLE and stick to it.  Don't allow him to draw you into manipulative argument.  
- if you can't get out of them staying with you in a way that works for you (and I'm saying this because you're crying over the invitations which makes me think you don't have the immediate strength to flat our put your foot down the way you are being advised), then what can you move to the hotel?  Can you spend dinners/evenings at the hotel with your child and your family?  Could you get a party room at the hotel and move the party?  Whatever it takes to get out of house where there seems to be a toxic environment brewing.

Finally, and I say this will all understanding, you say you've gone to therapy.  I'd recommend more, as a way to practice detachment.  [/quote]

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