Reply to feeling hurt about husband and mother-in-law's behavior

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[quote=Anonymous][quote] Here's what you've done wrong here: you've made it YOUR problem. You CARED. You cannot do this. It is what it is, it was like that before you came along, and it will be like that forever. You have to let it happen and just not involve yourself in it at all. MIL wants you to help with invites? Take a step back, b/c she's going to start playing some games. She is playing you b/c you are a normal person and you care. Really, you just have to live your life and control what you can control (your life, your children's life, your home, your relationship with your DH) and let all that other drama exist on some other plane out to the side, and don't any of it intermingle with any of the stuff you are in control of. Be as nice and as noncommittal as possible. It's tough, but eventually you get better at it. Even when my MIL compliments me now, I just say, "Thank you," and don't get pulled into her drama. She just uses it b/c the next time, she'll whiplash you with something mean or underhanded. Sorry, but that's just the way she is. [/quote]

Exactly - and get your DH into counseling with you so he can better understand the dynamic of alcoholism.  My father was an outrageous alcoholic and I know how hard it is to overcome that dynamic.  At a minimum, your kids should not be witness to that behavior.  (BTW - pissing on the carpet is something my dad would do.)  Good luck.[/quote]

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