Reply to feeling hurt about husband and mother-in-law's behavior

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[quote=Anonymous]I think there is some good advice here, but I would like to add a couple more points.

1) Alcoholism is a serious disease and it often hurts the whole family. You need to do what you can to protect yourself and you child(ren). You should encourage DH to do the same as well. One free resource is Al-Anon (http://www.al-anon.org/). It's a nationwide support group for friends and family members of alcoholics. I really encourage you to try a couple sessions. You'll find that what you're dealing with is not unique, and is in fact very common. You'll meet people in various stages of learning how to deal with having a alcoholic family member and you can learn from them. Please, for your children's sake, try them. There are meetings all over the place and many different times. If you don't like one group, try another.

2) I know this is being said, but get counseling. You'll need it for yourself. Also try to get your husband to take part in couples therapy.

3) I suggest making your child's birthday party a dry party for the adults. You don't need to announce it beforehand (it sounds like your MIL or FIL would just bring alcohol), but just don't have alcohol in the house. Literally hide it. And hide it well.  Not only might that prevent a horrible incident, but it will send a clear message about how much your FIL's actions bother you.

4) Start getting used to standing up for yourself and having a voice. If your MIL makes racist comments, interject and tell her that is not appropriate in your house, that you do not want your child to hear those words being used, and next time she says it she will need to leave. Say it firmly and calmly. And stick to your guns.

Really, though, this comes down to you sticking up for yourself and your children. Do it calmly. Say what you need to say to DH. Repeat if necessary. And it will be. [/quote]

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