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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been talking to the other woman. I just found out about their affair and the trauma has been so deep and painful but I started emailing her to ask how she sleeps at night knowing she is breaking a family with little kids. Her responses were discusting and she believes he was in love with her. He also told her lies about us getting divorced. It was news to me until I found out.  I can't say she felt bad but she was honest about everything--more so than my cheating husband.   It was also gratifying to see how petrified he seemed about us being in communication.

I still feel like I want to puke though. She sent me every vile email he had sent her. [/quote]
Hate her? Sounds like you should be thanking her for being the only person with enough decency to tell you the truth. She's being better to you than your husband right now, and she's a stranger!
She's not breaking up your family- your husband is. That might hurt more but eventually you'll realize it's the truth and I think you'll find strength in it. Because you have no control over all of the potential other women in the world, but you do have control over who you will choose to marry in the future.
It's very rough now- I wish you peace.
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