Reply to Life Lesson: MILs that dont drive

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those who care, Uber has had some lawsuits over their drivers refusing people with guide and other service dogs. Taxis do this too. Paratransit which was also mentioned doesn't work well either. They state that they can pick you up half an hour early or half an hour late. They also want their passengers to be outside waiting for them no matter the weather. Finally, paratransit is a shared ride system and they don't route by location. What this means is that you could be driven literally all over the county to pick up another passenger, then driven some more to drop that passenger off before you ever get to your destination. This means that if you have to be someplace on time (think doctor or dentist) you're screwed. Paratransit makes people who don't have to use feel like they are helping, yet is unusable if you need or want to be someplace. There is a reason why people don't just say "f*** it, I'll give up my car". As for op's mother-in-law, so long as your wife isn't canceling date night or failing to be home for the kids after school because Grandma decides at the last minute she absolutely needs something, what do you care? If you'd like to move, go ahead and do so. Your wife will either join you or not. Your post implies that you'd not have married her had you realized her mother couldn't drive. If that's the impression she's getting, I'd not move with you either. No way would I give up the friends, familarity, routines, and everything I know to be with a man who may regard me as a burden should my body break down. I'd also be thinking bout the type of person you'd be should your body break down and if that was something I wanted to live with.  [/quote]

OP here. I think you are oversimplifying. First and foremost, I am the sole financial provider. When we dated, what was discussed was that DW would work and that MIL would help by providing some day care services. DW decided to stay home. So, you want me to be the sole provider and I have no flexibility in how I earn the money ? Further when we dated I told my DW I didn't want to stay in the area and that if an opportunity presented itself to move to lower cost of living area that I would like to pursue I would and that her Mom was always welcome to come with us. So, my point of view DW was not truthful. She dismissed every opportunity, several of which were quite lucrative. So, if she feels that vibe it is because I think her Mom played off on my DWs nature to her own selfish agenda. Having your daughter dismiss all opportunities out of hand is selfish. It is. And with the benefit of hindsight I realize now it was in large part do to the lack of her mobility, which frankly had her living in a marginal neighborhood. So, and when I offered to pay for 1/2 a coop in a better neighborhood her siblings who had the means said no. It was easier to throw it on my shoulders. So, I have not been a heel. And my point stands, I would tell my children to take a hard look at MILs self sufficiency. In my case this has been going on since my late twenties since we were newlyweds.[/quote]

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