Reply to How to be supportive: SAHM wants to go back to work

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Have you asked her how you can best be supportive? What does she say when you ask her?

Also, does she "really" want to go back to work, or is she saying that because she thinks that it is the right thing to say?
[/quote]

So, people ask for help finding a job when they don't want one? Makes sense. What are you even trying to say here? [/quote]

I have a lot of SAHM friends who have have said, and continue to say, that they feel like they should be back at work because they have advanced degrees and the kids are now all in school full-time. And, I think that a part of them really does miss the intellectual stimulation, pay, and prestige of their former careers. But, when push comes to shove, they don't want it *enough* to be launching a serious job search. They undertake more volunteer posts at the kids school, renovate the house, ponder other career paths, etc. Most of them are former attorneys and they don't want to be firm attorneys again (understandably), but are always to busy to look into other ways to use their degrees. They look at postings, but never send in resumes, etc., etc.

That is what I mean. So, yes, they talk the talk, but don't walk the walk. They feel conflicted. They like being at home and taking care of household things, but feel guilty because they know they have these fancy degrees that they aren't using, even though the kids don't need them for most of the day. They also feel conflicted because their DHs make a lot of money, so they don't financially need to work, but have been raised with the idea that they shouldn't rely upon a man as their plan.[/quote]

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