Reply to Parents buying out my brothers x wife from the house

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[quote=Anonymous]1641, I agree with you in principle, but as adults, we all really need to understand that "fairness" and equity are fluid things. The money that OPs brother is getting may not have been available as liquid assets for the parents to share a year ago, ten years ago, or whatever. OP does not know the full circumstance of this money ie. if it's a loan, if the parents will actually own the house, etc. She's making assumptions based on her own interpretation of the situation and her own measuring stick of fair (which seems to be purely about money).

Let me give you a different example. I grew up with an alcoholic mother in an abusive home. My brothers were born when I was a teenager. I raised them until they were young children (due to my mother'so incompetence to do so). I left home very young and forged out on my own.

Shortly after I left, my mother met another man, stopped drinking, and cleaned up her act. My brothers ended up, by all accounts, having a fairly stellar childhood, in a warm and loving home.

I don't begrudge them one moment of that. Is it fair? Hell no. Is it equitable? Nope. BUT life isn't then what it was then and is wasn't what it is now. Nothing can MAKE life fair. I love my brothers deeply and I am so happy they had the childhood I didn't.

I have a lot of tools in my emotional toolbox they'll never have because of my experience. I am driven, unflappable, independent, and always land on my feet. The trade off in my life was being who I am. So it's not fair by one measuring stick, but more than fair in another.

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