Reply to My husband and I have only had sex once since our son was born

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your wife got used to not having sex and stopped craving it. I've been there as a woman. BFing made it hard to view my body as sexual, particularly my breasts. I was NEVER in the mood naturally. Having sex is what got me into the mood (during the act). I probably would've gone over a year without sex otherwise.[/quote]

DH here (and PP), and I don't want to be accused of telling a woman about her own body, but I have to add that breast feeding doesn't just change body image.  It actually changes your biochemistry, and in particular, the part of your biochemistry which regulates your need for human contact and affection (and sex).  The entire point of this system is probably evolutionary in order to better ensure the success of offspring - if you are still busy taking care of baby n, it's not reproductively (from an evolutionary perspective) optimal for you to be getting pregnant with baby n+1, and therefore, not optimal if you are having sex.  Breastfeeding is a pretty strong indicator you're still very busy taking care of baby n.  I think evolutionary psych is kind of..tenuous or tenditious at best, but the oxytocin mechanism is pretty straightforward.

This is why I believe breastfeeding beyond 24 months is insane, as is "co sleeping".  These practices are pretty much deliberately sabotaging any hope of re-igniting passion with your spouse.

DW has made it clear she doesn't see breastfeeding beyond 6 months (max), though I'm a little less militant (I say BF - if you produce enough - until you get the kiddo on solids - definitely doable in a year).  I also expect baby in the baby's own room by a year at the very most.

To the guy who asked "how long do you wait?"  I've kind of adjusted my expectations for a 2 year drought.  If it goes longer, then we're going to have to have a serious talk.  [/quote]

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