Reply to What's better for the kids - bad marriage or divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with previous posters. Read Unexpected Legacy of Divorce - it is eye-opening and concludes that children that grow up in unhappy marriages are better off in the long-run than this whose parents divorced. I come from divorce and work in early childhood and divorces are ENORMOUSLY damaging to children. IMHO divorce is far more damaging than a bad marriage, although a bad marriage is no picnic for kids either. Best advice is to try harder - and surrender some key ground to your s/o in order to show him the way to surrendering ground. You re not losing - just paving the way and setting a good example of what kind of relationship you want to have with him. He is human and doing the best he can - and frankly - you may be wrong about some things you are fighting about. Let it go - love him - talk to him - and compromise. Your children will be MUCH MUCH better for it.[/quote]

Wow. Could not disagree more. I remember being 14 and so SO miserable over the atmosphere of our home which was "ok" two days a week and hell for five. Always fighting. You never knew what would set them off. So many dinners, family trips, vacations, ruined. I still get anxious at the sound of the garage door opening because growing up it was portentous. It could mean the peacefulness was about to be broken because someone was home and they were going to argue. And this is your run of he mill shitty marriage- no physical abuse, no drugs. Just two pissed off people who enjoyed hurting one another. I would look at baby pictures and wish I was a baby again do I wouldnt have to deal with any of it. 
It was a FUCKING RELIEF when they divorced and home could be a normal environment. [/quote]

ME TOO. And this experience informed my decision to divorce when my child was a toddler. [/quote]

x3.  Everything PP said, I can relate to.  Thats why I will never tolerate that for my child.  My goal is to either meet the right person, or become a single mom.  Either way, I KNOW it is healthier for a child to grow up in a happy household than one where people are arguing and hating each other.[/quote]

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