Reply to Sad about how the holiday visit to my family went

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[quote=Anonymous]All the PPs criticizing the OP, I think you sound like a bunch of cold scolds. The OP's mom's situation is terrible and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But the OP's feelings are still valid. She had a crappy holiday for a lot of reasons. She gets to be sad that she had a crappy holiday. Her mom doesn't get a blanket pass to be a jerk because she is dealing with this awful care situation. Her attitude is understandable, but it's also understandably frustrating for someone who genuinely sounds like she wants to help and is having a hard time doing that. I don't see what more the OP could do. It doesn't sound like she was awful to her mom, just that she had a bad holiday season, for a lot of understandable reasons, and she is allowed to be sad about that.

We had a similar situation with my grandparents when dealing with cancer. Total refusal to accept help followed by extreme annoyance when people didn't magically divine what needed to be done - including the trash issue, OP. I was falling over myself trying to be helpful and take care of things and was told repeatedly not to worry about it, and then taken to task later for "not noticing" when the trash needed to go out. My grandfather's exact words were "If you wanted to help so badly, why didn't you do that?"[/quote]

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