Reply to Sad about how the holiday visit to my family went

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Sad about how the holiday visit to my family went"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]

OP, you owe your mother a huge apology. You should not have asked her to host or agreed to let her host. On top of her full time job of dealing with her husband, she had to clean her house, make sure dinnerware was in order, grocery shop, plan a menu, "make a few things," and do drinks. That's a LOT to do when also taking care of her husband. I know you feel like it isn't much, but she obviously didn't think she could do it. When she clearly didn't want to do it, you piled on to her burden. It sounds as though you assured her you would take care of everything else, yet you are surprised she wanted a guest to take out the trash? YES, take out the trash for the woman!

And sure, your mom could likely use an adjustment to her medications to help her mood; but even if they "make her feel happy," they won't make her feel obligated to take on holiday hosting! I think the question you need to ask is what can you do to help your mom.

Next get-together, figure out a better way to do this so that your mother doesn't have to lift a finger. Talk to the hospice workers to find out who can be with your father while you all go out to dinner (even if it's a major holiday). Also, while you're there, do their laundry (wash, fold and put away), take out the trash, etc. Don't do anything that would create more work for her (as in, don't leave clean laundry piled in the basket, don't do a load of dishes and leave them to dry on the counter for her to put away). Would she go for a massage? If so, get her a gift certificate. You implied she seems to like seeing her grandchildren, you could offer to be with your father while she takes them to the park or for ice cream, or just while they hang out together in the family room (or whatever she likes to do).

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics