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[quote=Anonymous]My DH lies a lot.  He doesn't want to disappointment me.  He doesn't want me to get angry.  He's going to 'get to it done, for sure' so he'll be safe in telling me it's done.  Of course, he doesn't get to it.  It's not like I'm a shrew but he's so conflict-averse and his family dynamics growing up encouraged lying.  He's also got ADHD/anxiety/depression and, I understand from extensive counseling, that some of this behavior is a legacy from those disorders.  His lying has extended to such things as filing taxes and making quarterly payments for self-employment.  He assured me all year that he'd been making payments.  He hadn't.  He assured me all year that he'd been inputting his expenses into an expense/tax program he purchased.  He hadn't.  It wasn't until April 15 when I couldn't postpone filing our taxes any longer that he confessed.  He lied about taking evening classes.  He registered/paid for the courses and then stopped attending class although he'd leave in the evenings and tell me he was going.  He lies about money he's spent.  We've got 2 SN kids, swimming in bills and living paycheck to paycheck.  He's spending $5K/yr at 7-11/McDonalds.  I can't get him to stop.  He also lied for a long time about resuming tobacco use. Lied when my face was 3 inches from his and he was reeking of it.

These lies have created huge problems in our marriage and in our financial stability.  We've had lots of counseling.  Why do we stay married?  I compartmentalize a lot (I developed excellent compartmentalization skills during my horrific childhood) and my life is complicated enough right now without adding divorce/custody to it.  We owe more on our house than it's worth. We have kids with SN and DH is great with them, their appointments and home therapy.  He's also good around the house.  There are a lot of positive things about him but his lies have destroyed the trust I had in our him and our relationship.  When my life is less complex in a few years, I have no doubt I'll initiate divorce proceedings. [/quote]

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