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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone on here love to push people for divorce. How about therapy?[/quote]

The issue is this: by the time most people arrive at the point of talking to internet strangers or seeing a therapist, so much damage has been done that it's past the point that therapy can fix it.  I'm a subscriber to a lot of John Gottman's ideas and at the root of any functional relationship is mutual respect; contempt is the converse and is the most toxic emotion there is to any relationship.

If the OP's description of her husband's behavior and attitude towards her is objectively accurate (and I'm not saying it is, or that her take represents the whole picture), then he pretty clearly feels nothing but contempt for her.  At the point of being furious about a dinner order?  I wonder how it got that way...I wonder what else happened...in a vacuum it's pretty ogreish on his part.  I suspect there is more to the story.

Even so, it really doesn't matter who is right or wrong or how they got where they are - she feels he has nothing but contempt - to the point she's on here making a plea for our sympathy and support - and I'd bet they're past the point of getting out of a toxic dance.  Interestingly to me, she's not even making the plea on her own behalf - it's all for her DD's benefit, not martyr mom.  Sometimes people create false dilemmas in order to perpetuate and continue a dysfunctional, toxic dance, and they need to be challenged to engage in rational behavior and cut the "gordian knot" - hence, my advice to go ahead and get a divorce.  [/quote]

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