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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What people are saying here is profoundly affecting me (NP).

To those of you affected by toxic marriages of your parents- were your parents at least kind and affectionate to the kids?[/quote]

Both of my parents were great as parents and I had lots of attention and personal time with each. However, the dynamics between them left me believing that marriage was a raw deal for women. My dad had a great life to me. He had plenty of solo time and regular outings with the guys. I knew he cheated as I was around to witness a lot. He has never once kissed or been affectionate with other women in front of me, but I knew from age 4-5 that he was cheating on my mom (though I couldn't verbalize it at the time). My parents would fight about money often, because my dad would spend bill money on fun stuff. My mom seemed to have too much responsibility and very little time to enjoy life. I didn't realize it until she left him, but I'd lost some respect for her for not demanding better for herself. She told me when I was much older that she was sacrificing her own wants because she felt we deserved an intact family as kids. Meanwhile, I was disappointed that she didn't stand up for herself better. I have had commitment issues because I fear feeling trapped within a similar marriage. My dad loved my mom, but her happiness was just not a priority for him. Thats scary to me.[/quote]

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