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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi everyone. I wanted to get some advice about what to say to my BIL and SIL who my DH and I recently found out were expecting.

I just wanted to say that most people who aren't close to someone who has struggled including both families and friends are not going to understand how you feel. There are many people who just can't empathize - and then there is the media who portray  couples dealing with infertility as nothing more than a pair of wealthy individuals who are creating designer babies after maximizing their careers.  Those of us who have walked this road - know that this couldn't be further from the truth.  Infertility is loss and going through treatment is traumatic in a number of ways.

Instead of giving your BIL and SIL a card I would suggest you make them a video (short) and let them know how you feel. I  would also suggest you look at some of the videos made by couples struggling and read some of the stories: http://inciid.org/Karmann-Ryan 
Families don't intend to be cruel - they just do not know the depth of the pain that couples suffer when they are completely excluded from what most of the rest of the world has no trouble doing - building a family!

To share with your family about your struggle is a gift to them and catharsis to you.  I am so sorry to hear of your struggle. It is important to take care of yourself and your partner - be kind to each other. Fertility can very lonely and the holidays are extra hard.

Nancy

http://www.inciid.org

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