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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband, an only child, grew up very close to his parents in a very, very small and sheltered community. While fundamentally nice people, I hope, his parents and I have clashed in many major ways the past 20 years-most notably, they tried to physically bar us from entering our own wedding because they didn't believe their son should marry a black woman. We've tried to make amends, but things are constantly coming up-they didn't want our kids in public school, they were angry when we named a child what they consider to be a "black name" (equivalent of Dante), and on several occasions have commented to my husband that my clothing was slutty. When they're around my husband and children, they're lovely. Around me, they're icy and rude. Two years ago, almost to the day, my father-in-law was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He went on hospice care in eight months and was dead within the year. My husband mourned and I supported him, and for a while his grief seemed overwhelming, but he got through it and is now increasingly close to his mother. Who wants to move in with us.

I'm currently a SAHM (with plans to start working by 2016) so the burden of caring for MIL would fall mostly on me. If it were my mother, I would expect my husband to take her in. Then again, my mother hasn't used the n-word against my husband. I believe children have the responsibility to care for their parents, especially if they have a stable relationship and love each other. My husband agrees. However, it pains me to know I will be taking care of someone who has been so mean to me in the past. I will care for her diligently and do everything necessary should she end up moving in with us, which would happen by Christmas. But something in me really doesn't want her to. Input, please-thanks.[/quote]

She would move in by Christmas?  You didn't say that your DH wanted her to move in.  How far away is the small sheltered community where she lives and DH grew up?  Does she have brothers and sisters and other family/friends there?  Is she moving all her stuff into your house?  Is her house for sale?  If she calls you and your children the N word I don't see how DH could want her in the house.  [b]Is she continent?[/b]  If the inlaws lived far away how often did you see them? [/quote]

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