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Reply to "Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents..."
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[quote=Anonymous]Without being too philosophical I think it depends upon the parties involved and their level of emotional maturity. If ILs and spouses recognize the need for boundaries, then I think there is something very nice about the benefits of being close geographically. If, in reality, if either you or your spouse won't set boundaries then you made need greater geographical distance. In my instance, our biggest challenge has been a complete lack of boundaries with my MIL. When I was younger I used to get angry at her; now I realize it is my wife's fault. Her Mom was controlling and my DW never did anything to set boundaries - ie getting the mail, answering the phone, cleaning the house, etc. I don't want to appear ungrateful but you do like a certain degree of privacy. So, now MIL comes over less often because of friction. That friction would have been less if DW set boundaries. We married young and I think that was part of it. But my advice is very clear communication regarding appropriate behaviors. But you and your spouse need to be on the same page. My MIL would answer my business phone, not take messages, etc. DW never laid down the lay and I was made out to be ungrateful. Manage expectations carefully.[/quote]
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