Anonymous wrote:We live in the same city as our kids and their families, and our homes are close. Their in-laws are in the next neighborhood. It's worked out great because we babysit any time we're asked and get to see our grandchildren often, and we'll be near them as we age. We also run errands for each other and take care of pets when someone goes out of town. I'll add that we all get along very well, and my husband and I never "drop in" without at least texting to see if convenient.

+1 When my kids were growing up, we were in the same area as my parents and a couple hours away from my DH’s parents. It was great. My parents did the same as you - watched the pets, babysat when needed, etc. And, they were more than happy to do it. The kids also got to know their grandparents.
When I was growing up in a military family, my grandparents were never close by. I saw them every other summer or so. I wish I had known them better.
Now that our parents are gone, my kids are so happy to have had a close relationship with their grandparents. They have great memories - and so do we.
I feel lucky to have had a close relationship with my parents and my DH’s parents. I know this is not true for everyone.
I think it is a little sad that our nation has become so transient that families are thousands of miles apart.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that I want to live no closer than 3 hours from my children. No free babysitting, etc. I brought up my kids and never asked for help and they can take care of their kids.

You are going to charge them for babysitting?

I am not going to baby sit at all. Nor am I going to clean their house, etc. I plan to begin my bucket list the day sfter the last one graduates from college. We will sell hpuse and buy a 2 bedroom kid-free condo and off we are to travel and explore the world. We will come back for wedding or life/death situations.

How old will you be once the last goes off to college? What's stopping you from doing some of those things today?

My inlaws are only 30 minutes away but they still come over and stay the night. Boggles my mind. I don't want to ask for help because I hate having them stay. It's not easy - they expect warm meals at each meal and have very specific tastes. They go through our closets and piles of mail.

My parents are 3 hours away. I think that's too far.

I wonder if either lived in the same neighborhood, that would be better for me. Then, maybe they'd go back to their own houses?

Anonymous wrote:My parents live 1/2 mile from me, and it's wonderful. They're now in their seventies and eighties. When my kids were little, my parents helped me raise them. Now that my kids are grown, they're incredibly close to their grandparents.

My three siblings and I all live within 45 minutes of our parents, and we get together regularly (at least once a month).

I would love to stay geographically close to my own four kids, but I think it's unlikely; at least one of them is sure to move away.

This was my upbringing and now that of my DD.

Anonymous wrote:I know that I want to live no closer than 3 hours from my children. No free babysitting, etc. I brought up my kids and never asked for help and they can take care of their kids.

I still find this attitude mind boggling. I have a friend whose mom makes similar comments. I'll count my blessings that my mom doesn't find being around my kids to be a pain in the ass.

It depends...

My In-laws live on the West Coast and we are glad they are that far away. MIL still manages to fly out here like 4-5 times a year...

My mother lives in South America thank God! She comes once a year which is PLENTY.

My father and his wife live 11 hours away or a 2 hour flight and DH and I are trying hard to convince them to move to our town or as close as possible...

2 hour drive

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that I want to live no closer than 3 hours from my children. No free babysitting, etc. I brought up my kids and never asked for help and they can take care of their kids.

You are going to charge them for babysitting?

I am not going to baby sit at all. Nor am I going to clean their house, etc. I plan to begin my bucket list the day sfter the last one graduates from college. We will sell hpuse and buy a 2 bedroom kid-free condo and off we are to travel and explore the world. We will come back for wedding or life/death situations.

30-45 minutes. Our families are 3 hours and 5 hours from us. It's close enough that they can come for weekend trips but we end up getting on each other's nerves. I wish we could just do a dinner or brunch here and there.

Without being too philosophical I think it depends upon the parties involved and their level of emotional maturity. If ILs and spouses recognize the need for boundaries, then I think there is something very nice about the benefits of being close geographically. If, in reality, if either you or your spouse won't set boundaries then you made need greater geographical distance. In my instance, our biggest challenge has been a complete lack of boundaries with my MIL. When I was younger I used to get angry at her; now I realize it is my wife's fault. Her Mom was controlling and my DW never did anything to set boundaries - ie getting the mail, answering the phone, cleaning the house, etc. I don't want to appear ungrateful but you do like a certain degree of privacy. So, now MIL comes over less often because of friction. That friction would have been less if DW set boundaries. We married young and I think that was part of it. But my advice is very clear communication regarding appropriate behaviors. But you and your spouse need to be on the same page. My MIL would answer my business phone, not take messages, etc. DW never laid down the lay and I was made out to be ungrateful. Manage expectations carefully.

My parents live 1/2 mile from me, and it's wonderful. They're now in their seventies and eighties. When my kids were little, my parents helped me raise them. Now that my kids are grown, they're incredibly close to their grandparents.

My three siblings and I all live within 45 minutes of our parents, and we get together regularly (at least once a month).

I would love to stay geographically close to my own four kids, but I think it's unlikely; at least one of them is sure to move away.

Anonymous wrote:I know that I want to live no closer than 3 hours from my children. No free babysitting, etc. I brought up my kids and never asked for help and they can take care of their kids.

You are going to charge them for babysitting?

Anonymous wrote:45 minutes. It's nice for weekend babysitting. Not close enough to do daycare pick up or anything though

I think this is good for the OP. I must be an anomaly, but 5-10 mins away would be great for us.

Anonymous wrote:We are literally 5 minutes away from in-laws. Worst decision ever! They feel like they should visit us every day of the week. We always have to make excuses. I think 45 minutes is ideal. I am sorry but I am not comfortable having in-laws as my overnight guests. We lived in the same development 2 years ago so I guess we have seen enough of each other

Who lived their first?

Anonymous wrote:Since my parents can't drive, they can be as close as they want and I still have total control over when I see them, heh heh.

Sad.