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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH pays regular child support, $500 per kid per month for three kids.  The rest of the year she nickel and dimes us for every expense. If DH won't pay half she says "well you can't do x,y,or z bc your dad won't pay."  He pays half for all of the expenses for the expensive club sports during the school year, but when he asks her to pay for half their sports camps when we have them on the summer she refuses.  She sent the kids up in the summer fresh after a lice infestation and didn't tell us until DSD was itching her scalp uncontrollably and I called her to ask why.  She won't pay anything for the lice treatment. She also sent DSD to us with a fungal infection under her arm untreated, bc she doesn't wash their swimsuits regularly.  When I called her to get the docs number to get a referral she said to just go to CVS minute clinic and that it was covered.  Well it wasn't, and now that the $50 tab was mailed to her houseshe is hounding DH to pay it.  She never pays DH back for her half of the plane tix for the kids either.  She just says she can't afford it even though her take home pay is now more than his.  She is just so cheap and manipulative and uses the kids to extort money from us.  I just hate it.  [/quote]

Sigh.  It would be really great if women could, for once, put them in the shoes of the other woman, the ex.  I'm sure your husband's ex, no matter how much he would like to make things appear that way, is not an evil troll hell-bent on bringing your husband down.  Raising a kid is fucking EXPENSIVE.  She has EVERY right to ask your husband for half of expenses.  if she has primary custody, you can bet your ass her expenses are more than $500 a month.  Maybe she didnt notice the lice- you have no way of knowing for sure that she did.  I think often with divorces it becomes less about the real issue of whether something is expensive or not and more about "the principle of the thing"- aka, I want to win and I want my partner to absolutely come out the loser.  I worked in family law and the stuff we would see was laughable.  People would go into getting a divorce, fully expecting to get full custody (with no visitation from their ex), ALL of the assets, and for it to cost them no money.  Please... it's so unrealistic that it's mind boggling.  That's not how divorce works.  Your husband CHOSE to have children with this woman and in doing so he had to know (unless he's a damn fool) that he was linking himself to her for life, or for the rest of his children's lives, legally and financially, if not emotionally as well.  I really can't stand cry-baby people who earn more than their ex and then bitch and moan about having to pay them support.  If you didnt expect that, you shouldn't have gotten married, plain and simple.

And before you throw this woman under the bus for sticking up for herself and the financial needs of her children, maybe you should consider that, since half of all marriages end in divorce, that might be you someday.  And imagine how it would feel to have to call up your annoying ex and see him whine about every measly cent he gives you.  And how incredibly emotionally draining that would be.  You should be the one telling your husband to be kind and mature to her, and I'm guessing the relationship dynamic you two have with his ex would improve vastly, and so would the lives of the children.[/quote]

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