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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "He wants a divorce..."
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[quote=Anonymous]OP take advantage of the caregiver and have her stay longer when you get home so you can take care of duties at home or take a brief nap or relax and have some me time. You will be there SO much more for your baby if you do that. If you see a therapist they will tell you the same. No matter the cost. Do it for the next 2-3 months and then see if you want to continue. There are no "shoulds" when things are bad like this, except you shouldn't be abusive, and that means don't be bitchy to your husband. Try not to be. Even if you are depressed. Try to use I statements, as in "I feel x when you do (or don't do) y". Behind anger is usually some emotion like fear, worry, hurt feelings, feelings of unfairness. Take it down a notch and try to fight less with husband. Get a therapist pronto and work on making sure your basic needs are met--sleep, nutrition, exercise (!!) to help you out of the depression. It is wonderful that you are breastfeeding. It is very relaxing for your system and an important bond, especially if you are not always connecting with baby. But please hire the caregiver for more time until you are feeling better. It's a must. You need to recover from having to go back to work so early. That is a trauma in and of itself. You will have more fuel to truly see yoru baby for the delight that he is and for your husband as the enthusiastic father that he wants to be (even if he falls short on baby duties--that's the norm and not always the man's fault exactly). You need to come together with your husband. Apologize for being a bitch and let him know you will be trying to take care of yourself so you can have more energy to deal with problems. Good luck. You'll get through this!![/quote]
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