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[quote=Anonymous]I grew up in a house where the yelling was minimal but when it happened, it was explosive and was either a) around athletic events on television (I'm serious -- my dad appeared to bottle everything up and then take out his considerable frustrations on teams....) or b) accompanied by subsequent, somewhat violent spankings or c) (this happened twice):  directed at my friends who were at my house for a birthday party.  I will never forget the shame I felt and the way that the girls whispered among themselves afterwards.

Flash forward 40 or so years:  unfortunately, I find myself yelling/raising my voice A LOT.  I also (and this is probably better for a s/o post) am married to someone who raises his voice and yells frequently/daily (either at the dogs, at our DC, or at me).  He honestly claims he's "not yelling" and that I am the one who's yelling (I acknowledge that I do, sometimes in response to him as there seems to be no other way to get him to stop yelling at our DC, who's 8 and whom he sometimes treats as though she's in her 30's in terms of trying to rationalize with her).

I have told DH that I am going to video or audio record us because I just don't think he realizes the extent to which he is yelling.  He also interrupts people (our DC, me, friends -- pretty much anyone) constantly (talks over them) and despite the fact that he's trying to work on this, it's not working.

Reading these posts and my response, I'm seeing more than ever that we need serious help as a family/couple, which I am trying to get DH to start. As to the OP's post:  I don't know how much any of this situation in my marriage has to do with my or his childhood.  DH has never heard his father raise his voice.  DH's mother was a yeller but she also was incredibly loving and would never do anything to hurt her children, whereas my mother never yelled but called me names, was/is critical of everything from appearance to intelligence, etc.  I have been in therapy for years trying to work through my childhood and my feelings about it and am now trying to work on my marriage and communication style.  If anyone has ANY suggestions (in addition to therapy - again, I am in it and will be entering it with DH, whom unfortunately I am needing to convince), I would be grateful.  [/quote]

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