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[quote=Anonymous]OP, from what you're saying, it sounds like your wife doesn't want to be a stay at home mom, she just wants shorter hours (you mentioned she wants five hours not two with them).  I think she should start at the government job and see if there can be any flexibility when she gets there.  My agency does not advertise part time work BUT the boss actually suggested some part-time arrangements for a few people who were having child care issues.  This saved one person from quitting outright because she was able to get a part-time schedule that allowed her to be with her kids for a couple of days a week.  So, just because it seems that there may be no flexibility, there may actually be some wiggle room once she gets into the job, provided that she proves herself to be a good employee with a good work ethic.

This also applies to telecommuting.  Some of my colleagues are able to telecommute a day or two a week.  This means that they save the hour or two in commuting per day and thus have more time with their families.

I am a lawyer too (left a big law firm to go to government for the saner hours despite the 60% paycut) and the alternative arrangements I am talking about have been available to my lawyer colleagues.  I think being a lawyer often lends itself to more flexibility because, unless you are going to trial or negotiating some sort of agreement, you can do your work from many locations.

And to the PP who was saying that people should just plan to be able to afford a house on one salary, but the salary at issue is $320k, that is not really the same as working off of a lower salary.  OP just hit six figures at his government gig, and in most agencies the ceiling is $155k for government work that is not at the senior executive level.  I used to make around as much as you are talking about before I went to the government and life was easy street financially speaking, but I can tell you from personal experience that it is very much a different story when one salary is less than half of what you quote.  And $155k is 50% higher than what OP makes now.  When we bought our house back in the early '00s, I planned on being able to afford it without ever getting a raise and only on my salary, but I didn't have any kids back then and kids are EXPENSIVE!!!

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