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[quote=Anonymous] I'm strict with the few things that I feel are important and I let the rest go.   We are upper middle class and I find there are many parents who care more about form over substance.   These are the kids who live in "perfect" homes and the parents cave into all their kids wants as long as they keep up appearances.   In public with the parents, these kids "act" well behaved well that is until the parents turn their back.

My kids thankfully save their worst behavior thankfully for me.  My kids teachers always tell me that my kids are so well behaved at school and are very respectful.

My kids don't make their bed (we don't enforce this), embarrass me in public often by some of the stupid things they say and do (they are middle school/elementary age) and sometimes look  disheveled.  They pick out their clothes each day. Our house is far from perfect. I am a full time working mom so I have chosen to pick my battles.

I work very hard with my kids academically and spend tons of time with them each evening.  I supplement, which is required extra work, as I do not feel that their school does as adequate job teaching them.  They are both top students.  They are allowed very minimal TV/ pad time..maybe 1-2 hours per week.  We do not have a game console.

Many of the issues that other parents report at this age have never been issues for us maybe due to life style priorities.   My middle school child has never asked to wear make-up and if she did it would be for "dress up".  We minimize contact with friends whose parents model poor behavior. For example, there are top students in my daughter's class who have parents who go drinking/ partying many weekends together.  We stay away from these types.

Many people would criticize our model but it works for us.[/quote]

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