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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To all the PP's who insist on being smug and self-righteous the OP wasn't suggesting that parents should provide alcohol to the teenagers to enjoy their sex-filled party in the basement...please get over yourselves.

And OP is right - when you set arbitrary rules that are [b]outside of what the others in their social set are doing without a healthy and logical discussion of the reasons and understanding then you are creating "forbidden fruit". [/b]

I hate to break it to the smug set who says their kids are following the rules because they set them - they are most likely not and are hiding it from you. Trust me - my 17 yr old DD and I have a very open and honest relationship and she tells me virtually everything that happens (probably not all, but most of it and usually on her own because she needs to "process" stuff and knows I will not freak out). The kids whose parents are strict and insist that their child would never do anything wrong or off limits are most often the ones right in their doing exactly what their parents have denied. I can easily give you 5-10 examples from last year alone.

Bottom line - talk to your kids, set limits (of course!), but also understand that they are teenagers and will screw up, be exposed to things and need guidance. Don't make the relationship so burdensome with shame and guilt that they won't come to you when they need you.[/quote]

Why would I as a parent allow my kids to do something just because all the other kids are doing it?  Isn't that the same lame excuse that kids use to excuse something bad they did = "well, so and so was doing it, too".  Yes, we explain why the rules are the way they are to our kids. They are not just arbitrary rules we've pulled out of our asses.

If my kids want to wear some designer clothes because everyone else has it, I'd let them, but they'd just have to work to pay for it if it's expensive.[b]

But if they wanted to do something that I thought was not age appropriate just because their friends were doing it?  I think that's a lame way to parent.[/b]

If you let them do something because that is *your* personal rule, then fine, but to let them do it because their friends are doing it?  Lame.[/quote]

But[b] isn't that why all middle schoolers tend to get iPhones and not just basic phones to reach parents if needed.[/b] Heck, many elementary school students have phones and electronics.   This generation if full of lame parents.  I am not being sarcastic.  We really are trying to one up each mom/family/friend and in the process our kids are getting a very sad upbringing with little responsibility and very poor role models within their parents.  Do you think any of our own parents would have given in as much as we all do?  [/quote]

I'm PP.. yes, exactly my point.  But there are some parents that do get just basic phones for their MS kid.  I'm not even 100% sure that when my 9 yr old reaches MS, DC will need a phone.   And I agree, by allowing our kids to do whatever they want (because the other kids are doing it), and giving them all kinds of material things (because other kids have them), we are producing a generation of spoiled, entitled brats.  And what kind of adults will they be... like their parents who are constantly playing the "keeping up with the joneses" game so they don't feel left out.  Disgusting!

My DCs do have one hand held game each that they got for their bdays.  But we don't have a Wii, Xbox, or what have you (I just recently discovered an Xbox is like $400 .. WHAT?).  When DCs go to their friends house, they all have them, and they love playing on them.  When they ask for it, we say, no, too expensive and you have an electronic game (and we have computers at home).  *We* as parents have drawn the line at what is enough for them.  We like giving them things that make them happy, of course, but we put a limit on the quantity and the $ amount because we don't want to spoil them... to OP, this might seem arbitrary.  I mean, all the kids have an XBox/Wii, we should get them one, too...NOT!

As another PP stated, every parent has their one definition of what is age appropriate, rules and limits.  Sheesh![/quote]

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