Reply to why do parents make things forbidden fruit?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To all the PP's who insist on being smug and self-righteous the OP wasn't suggesting that parents should provide alcohol to the teenagers to enjoy their sex-filled party in the basement...please get over yourselves.

And OP is right - when you set arbitrary rules that are [b]outside of what the others in their social set are doing without a healthy and logical discussion of the reasons and understanding then you are creating "forbidden fruit". [/b]

I hate to break it to the smug set who says their kids are following the rules because they set them - they are most likely not and are hiding it from you. Trust me - my 17 yr old DD and I have a very open and honest relationship and she tells me virtually everything that happens (probably not all, but most of it and usually on her own because she needs to "process" stuff and knows I will not freak out). The kids whose parents are strict and insist that their child would never do anything wrong or off limits are most often the ones right in their doing exactly what their parents have denied. I can easily give you 5-10 examples from last year alone.

Bottom line - talk to your kids, set limits (of course!), but also understand that they are teenagers and will screw up, be exposed to things and need guidance. Don't make the relationship so burdensome with shame and guilt that they won't come to you when they need you.[/quote]

Why would I as a parent allow my kids to do something just because all the other kids are doing it?  Isn't that the same lame excuse that kids use to excuse something bad they did = "well, so and so was doing it, too".  Yes, we explain why the rules are the way they are to our kids. They are not just arbitrary rules we've pulled out of our asses.

If my kids want to wear some designer clothes because everyone else has it, I'd let them, but they'd just have to work to pay for it if it's expensive.

But if they wanted to do something that I thought was not age appropriate just because their friends were doing it?  I think that's a lame way to parent.

If you let them do something because that is *your* personal rule, then fine, but to let them do it because their friends are doing it?  Lame.[/quote]

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