Reply to Is it really a good idea to divorce over non-help with chores? Or should I just let it go?

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Reply to "Is it really a good idea to divorce over non-help with chores? Or should I just let it go?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, sorry for not coming back until now, we've been doing stuff with the in-law and stuff.

After I posted, I got up and started cleaning.  When DH and DS came home, he got upset and asked me why I was cleaning and said that he said he was going to do it and I was making myself a "martyr" and trying to make him feel bad by doing it myself.  I wasn't mean or anything, I just stated that his family were going to be here any time now, so when was he planning on doing it?  (I left that morning at 8:30 for work, so he had until 11am that morning to do it, and he didn't).  He said that if I was going to be such a bitch, he was just going to go downstairs and watch TV with DS and I should stay away from him.  He apologized later last night, but really?  It's impossible to criticize him even in the least without him getting totally defensive and saying I'm being a bitch.  I am NOT a bitch, and I do not nag, and I try to be very nice and easy when I try to discuss things like this with him, but it just doesn't work.  I'm so sick of this crap.  At least the house was presentable.  I really love my MIL and I really care about what she thinks of me, so I don't want her thinking I'm letting her grandson live in a pigsty.

And regarding the sex for chores thing, I do NOT demand anything from my husband for sex.  This was a special incidence wherein I only had like 30 minutes before I had to leave for work, and I really wanted to get those cleaning things done before then because the in-laws were supposed to be there before I got home from work (luckily they were running late), so DH offered to make sure they were done.  I can't think of another instance in our 12 year marriage when he's offered/I've asked him to do chores in order to free up time for us to have sex.  Yes, normally chores can be put off for sex, but this time was different.

Anyway, I'm still pretty upset with him, but I've dropped it because I want to enjoy the time that his family is here.

Anyways, that being said, I really wish we could afford a house cleaner but there is just no way in heck we can.  It's going to be really rough just paying the daycare cost for this unplanned baby#2, I'm actually pretty scared we are going to end up underwater because of that extra cost.[/quote]\

Number of times DH has called me a bitch:  0
Number of times DH would call me a bitch and walk hunched over for a week:  1
Number of repeat times DH would call me a bitch:  0
WHY do women tolerate letting the men who supposedly love them call them such vile names?  I'll never understand it.  Grow a spine OP[/quote]

So, you are advocating domestic violence?  That's really nice.  Would you advocate a husband physically attacking his wife for cursing at him?[/quote]

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