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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]1.  Understand that your DIL has a mother of her own and may prefer her own mother to her MIL.  [/b](My MIL could not understand why on earth I would have a problem with her being in the room while I delivered our baby.  My own mother understood that I only wanted my husband in the room, but not my MIL.)

2.  Don't complain that you never get to see your grandchildren when you refuse major opportunities to spend time with them.

3. [b] Remember that your DIL has a family of origin and that she might actually love them and want to spend time with them too.  I know it sucks that you have to share holidays now that this strange woman has married your son, mothers your grandchildren, and shares every responsibility equally with your son, but she has a family too and every now and then she might like to spend a holiday with them.[/b]  Please don't lie and maneuver to create situations where you make it impossible for she and your son and grandchildren to spend time with her family.

[/quote]

These resonate with me. MIL is big into keeping score and feeling slighted because I have a family, too, and don't consider her my other "Mom."

So when we make plans with my family over holidays she always suggests we ALL get together instead. [/quote]

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