Reply to 6yr old DS is a compulsive liar

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "6yr old DS is a compulsive liar"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP, this brought back memories! I am a functioning, gainfully employed adult who hasn't had as much as a parking ticket, who went through a stealing and lying phase as a kid of about your DS' age. No, I did not need therapy.

Why? The stealing was pretty much poor impulse control - 'I see, I waaaant.' Plus, my parents were very old-school strict with getting stuff for me and I was the oldest kid in both my direct and extended family, so I was constantly told that I had to give toys to Cousin Such and Such because they were smaller. I think it was a reaction to that.

As to lying - my parents were, once again, strict and fond of punishing me for transgressions big and small, so I saw no reason not to lie and try to wiggle out of punishment. They told me if I came clean, it would be better for me, but repeated experience showed me the punishment remained the same either way and they never told me ‘we are still disappointed because you did X, but good job for telling the truth.’ So there was no point in not lying. Not to mention they wouldn’t believe me when I really didn’t do something or cut slack for things outside my control, so in my 6-yr-old mind I felt ‘justified.’ I also liked making up tall tales (as opposed to lies to avoid punishment) because it made me feel more important.

I grew out of it – as I got older and felt less powerless in my world and my environment, my desire to lie or steal toys or whatever went away. It helped that I got old enough to understand the social consequences of my actions (no kid who has sticky fingers is going to keep a lot of friends).

I do confess that my relationship with my parents only normalized and got relatively healthy once I moved out. It’s also no coincidence that I married a man quite different in personality from either of them and that I parent my DCs very differently (ironically, my parents have mellowed out and are now incredibly doting on my kids).

I don’t know you, OP, so I can’t judge your parenting skills, but it could be a parent-child style mismatch – try to understand why your kid is like that, and don’t just assume and treat him as a bad seed, as you seem to be.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics