Reply to how old does your daughter have to be to wear a bikini?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Go ahead and mock it; I personally think there is value in modesty.  I get it,[b] we have entire generations of women in this country that believe that walking around in your underwear (essentially) somehow makes girls feel confident, love their bodies, and plus....don't they look sooo cute?!![/b]   But me, I think it just makes boys and girls draw more sexual attention to their bodies, think about sex more, and ultimately have sex more.  Something that I think there is value in delaying until kids are actually adults.  No, I am not interested in my kids wearing dresses and long leggings to swim in, but let me ask you this:  do you think the girls who use ultra-modest swimwear are feeling really sexy in their dresses and leggings?  Do you think boys are viewing them as girls who might be easy to have sex with?  [b]Do you think older men are staring at their butts and boobs?[/b]  Do you think they believe their sexiness is equal to confidence and attractiveness?[/quote]

We have entire generations of women in this country who think that there are more important matters than how much skin a girl or woman shows or doesn't show. Or, anyway, I wish we did.

And if older men are staring at the butts and boobs of young teenage girls, regardless of what the young teenage girls are wearing, then those older men need to control themselves and stop doing that.[/quote]

I'm not sure why you think "men need to stop looking" at sexy women.  Isn't that a very foundational part of how we humans function?  Isn't that the point?  And ultimately isn't that what women want?  None of us would be here without basic sexual attraction between men and women -- it's something that is supposed to happen and something that we want to happen (or did, when we were young and single).  Scantily-clad women send a message that we, by our very nature, are designed to be sending and receiving.  I think it's ridiculous to simultaneously show off your nearly-naked body in mini-bits of clothing which are designed specifically to make you look sexy, but then be upset at men (of any age) for looking at it.   And sure, you want to let your daughter in on this exchange, I guess that's your business.  But to answer OPs question, it's not something I want for my daughter - not like this - which is why the females in my house do not wear bikinis.[/quote]

Did I say "Men need to stop looking"? Nope. I said, "Men need to stop STARING." (Based on the PP's comment -- yours? -- "Do you think older men are staring at their butts and boobs?") Staring is not polite. Ogling is not polite. Leering is not polite. MEN NEED TO STOP DOING THAT. If a man is ogling me, it's not my responsibility to change my clothing or behavior. It's his responsibility to stop ogling me. [b]If a man in your family is ogling a woman in a bikini, is your reaction, "Stop ogling that woman!", or is your reaction, "That trollop shouldn't be prancing around naked in public, what does she expect?"?[/b]

And again, you're assuming that all women and girls wear bikinis so that the men who see them stare at them -- or conversely, that it's ok for any man to stare at all women and girls in bikinis because that's what the all of the women and girls want them to do. Why do you assume this? It's not a valid assumption.

And if your question now is, "Well, if women aren't wearing bikinis so that the men who see them stare at them, what ARE they wearing bikinis for?", I suggest you ask this question of women and girls who wear bikinis. I expect that you'll get a range of answers.[/quote]

+1 We as mothers need to not only teach our daughters to be respectful of themselves and encourage them to make good choices, but we also need to teach and encourage our sons to do the same. I'm always amazed by the mothers of sons who don't recognize their responsibility in guiding their sons to respect girls. My son is still young, but he is already hearing the message of respect from me. No catcalling, ogling and disrespect will be tolerated. Of course, as he gets older he will be curious, etc., etc. but he will have in his mind that girls are human beings deserving of respect - not simply objects presented for his pleasure.

Of course people will stare at a good-looking person in a bathing suit (or otherwise) - that's our human nature. But don't fool yourselves to believe that a 1-piece cannot be worn in a highly sexualized manner by a teenager…it's more about the way they behave rather than the actual suit. People who attach sexualized messages to certain clothing really never make sense to me. For me it's really more about behavior. Don't get me wrong - I prefer to see all people (teenagers and adults) dress appropriately and with clothing that fits properly (!!!), but to make such blanket statements seems a stretch for me.

Also, to the PP who says that teens wearing bikinis will somehow make them have sex earlier, more often and more easily…wow! Do you also think that sex education will lead to them engaging in sex sooner and more often? Or that the HPV vaccine will encourage them to have sex? Guess what - research shows the exact opposite! Kids who know and understand sex will make more informed decisions. I don't think I want to know what you think of a girl/women who is raped while wearing a short skirt - do you think they somehow deserved it for dressing that way in public…?[/quote]

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